The Missing Lamb Shank
by LoZfan86
Summary: Ever wonder how that went down? That little tidbit from Ilyana and Lucia's A-support conversation? Well, now you'll get to know exactly how it happened, from Soren's POV! This is the story...of the missing lamb shank.


**A/N: Yay! Another Soren one-shot! You can be expecting a lot of these from me! Soren is my most favorite FE character EVER! :P I got the idea for this one after reading through all of Ilyana and Lucia's support conversations. I had to laugh at their A-support conversation especially, because Ilyana confessed she was so hungry, that she actually snatched Soren's lamb shank when he wasn't looking. So I thought, this might be an interesting idea for a story! So this is my perspective of what actually happened that night, written in Soren's point of view. By the way, I tried writing this to the best of my ability in the old 1950s film noir style. So the stuff you see in italics right away in the beginning and later on is supposed to be the little music bit you used to hear in those old mystery shows. Know what I'm talking about? ...Maybe I'm the only one who knows... :P Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this humorous little one-shot! Ciao! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem. All characters you recognize belong to Nintendo/Intelligent Systems. **

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_Bum ba-dum bum._

It was about seven in the evening. I was sitting alone in my tent, as usual, writing a log of our company's current financial situation. Apparently, you can't trek across Daein without spending nearly all of your hard-earned gold. As it was, our army was sorely and dreadfully in debt. (Not to mention Boyd kept breaking his axes and we were forced to buy him new ones.) And of course, the problem fell on me to remedy that situation. I had been brainstorming several ideas to try and make us some money, but all to no avail. After about three hours or so, I had decided I was a little hungry, one of my rather rare bodily occurrences. So I let my brain rest for a moment, and left my tent in search of Oscar.

The green-haired paladin was in the mess tent, serving dinner to everyone. I got some odd looks as I walked inside, because I wasn't exactly known for willingly eating something. I didn't starve myself, but it did usually take quite a bit of force to get me to eat anything. I can even recall a time when Ike got so flustered with my lack of appetency, that he pinned me down on my bed and literally began shoving food down my throat. Needless to say, that's not one of my fonder memories of him.

Anyhow, I ignored the erratic looks I got from those sitting at the tables and went to stand in the serving line. As I approached Oscar, he smiled one of his trademark, squinty smiles, clearly happy to see me in the mess tent on my own terms. I couldn't help but be a bit perturbed by it. After all, happiness to this degree kind of annoyed me. But by now I was starving, so I let him smile and squint all he wanted.

"Soren!" he exclaimed once I was next in line. He just couldn't seem to wipe that dumb grin off his face. "You heard I was serving my famous lamb shanks tonight, then? I knew even _you_ couldn't resist them!"

I reached for the plate Oscar handed to me and thanked him monotonously. Once I got my food, I located Ike and sat down next to him. Thankfully, no one was sitting within a few feet radius of him. He was busily gnawing on his piece of baby sheep and didn't even notice me sit down. Figures, no one gets between Ike and his meat. About a minute and a half passed before I finally waved my hand in front of his face.

"Oh, hey Soren! I didn't see you there!" he said through his mouthful of lamb. He didn't seem to possess any sort of table manners, but then again, mercenaries don't really have a need for proper etiquette.

"Of course you didn't," I replied, shaking my head a little. "You were too absorbed in your dinner."

Ike swallowed, then proceeded to defend his favorite food group. "Hey! Oscar doesn't make lamb shanks very often, and it's one of my favorites!"

"I know!" I responded, raising a hand in defense of myself. "I was only teasing you."

Ike's face contorted into a look of disbelief as he picked up his meat chuck and started nibbling on it again. "So, did you come to talk to me about financial stuff?" he asked in between bites. He then noticed me about to take a bite off my lamb shank, and grabbed the wrist that was holding it. "Wait. You're actually eating? Of your own free will?" He seemed completely shocked by the fact that I was even touching food, let alone eating it.

I mustered a deep sigh. "I've been working hard trying to fix all _your_ financial errors. It made me hungry."

That seemed like a good enough explanation for him. He didn't even argue that I blamed him for our current situation. He just let go of my wrist and continued eating. I put my lamb shank down on the plate and reached for my glass of water. As I took a sip, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head, concentrating on the cool liquid running down my throat. It was a very nice feeling, I had to admit. I sighed in satisfaction as I returned the glass to its spot beside my plate. Ike had engaged me in conversation again. As we chatted, my hand nonchalantly reached down at my plate to grab my dinner. Little did I know, however, something was terribly amiss. As I brought what I thought was my lamb shank up to my mouth, I nearly bit off one of my fingers.

"What the-" I sputtered, staring at my hand that held nothing in it. Then I glanced down at my plate. It too, was empty. "Where did my lamb shank go?" I began to search for it, dropping my head underneath the table in case it had fallen somehow. No use. It was gone from sight. I then looked back up at Ike, who was now holding a lamb shank bone in his hand. "Did you take it?" I asked. I must've looked like I wanted to kill him, because he cowered a little bit in fear.

"N-no! Of course not!" he stammered. "Why would I take your food? You need it more than I do!" Well, he was right about that. Ike may have loved meat, but he wasn't mean enough to take food from others. Especially poor, frail mages, such as myself.

"But if you didn't take it, then who did?" I asked, bewildered. Why did it happen that on the one night I was actually hungry, some idiot had to steal my food? I sighed. The world truly hated me...

"I have no idea," was Ike's answer. He scanned the room then, looking for anyone who might be guilty. At the same time, I saw someone flee the tent rather quickly out of the corner of my eye.

"I'll be right back," I told Ike, standing up from the table.

_Bum ba-dum bum._

I didn't get a good look at the person, but from what I saw, it seemed to be a female. I made my way out of the mess tent, doing my best to follow whoever it was. When I got out of the tent, I looked left and right several times, trying to deduce which way the perpetrator of my lamb shank might've gone. When I glanced to my right for a third time, I saw Mist chatting with one of the new recruits, Ilyana. I had to sigh and shake my head slightly upon seeing the thunder mage. Our group was slowly getting to know each of our new recruits, but Ilyana possessed a certain trait that one could never forget. That girl could swallow down basket after basket of our food stores. She ate even more than a starving Laguz, for heaven's sake! Some said that she even went to the point of stealing others' food just to satisfy her own-wait a minute...

My mind backtracked over that last sentence, and I immediately figured out who had stolen my lamb shank. I shook my head again as I walked over to her and Mist. Good grief! If she was _that_ hungry, why didn't she just get her own?

"Hello, Mist," I said to the young cleric. "Ilyana." As I greeted her, I gave her an unnerving glare that hinted she was in trouble. Some people in our company liked to call it the 'Soren Glare.' I was actually quite proud of it. It really worked, as stated by Boyd and Rolf. "Mist, if you wouldn't mind," I began. "I'd like to speak with Miss Ilyana alone." I examined Ilyana closely and noticed she had a hand tucked away behind her back.

"Sure thing, Soren!" Mist chirped. "Bye Ilyana!" She then ran off to go do whatever it is Mists do.

"Um..." Ilyana just stood there in front of me like an imbecile. "Hi." She was blushing now, and she dropped her head in an effort to hide it.

"Ilyana," I said slowly. "What are you hiding behind your back?" She fidgeted slightly, and I knew getting the truth out of her would perhaps be the easiest thing I'd ever done.

"Oh, it's nothing," she replied, her head still hanging.

"Really? Because I can smell something. A bit of meat perhaps." I began to slowly circle around her and she did the same, desperately trying to keep the object behind her back hidden.

"I really don't have anything, Soren," she lied, but the blush on her face was still plain as day. "Now, if you'll excuse me.."

She tried to walk away, but I grabbed her arm and wrestled it out from behind her back. I wasn't exactly known for my strength, but lucky enough for me, Ilyana was even weaker than I was. I brought her tiny hand out from behind her, and there it was...my lamb shank.

"Oh! Um, that. Well..." Ilyana floundered for the right words to say. I could've given her another 'Soren Glare,' but instead, I chose to give her a softer look, while still maintaining my serious composure.

"Ilyana, why did you steal my food?" I asked, sounding more bewildered than angry. "You could've just went through the line like everybody else and gotten your own."

Her face fell then, and she looked like she was about to cry. "No," she said. "I had already gone through five times, and Oscar told me to go away and leave some for the others." She looked up at me with big purple orbs. "I'm sorry! I was just so hungry! And you usually don't eat your food, so I thought I'd be safe in taking yours." She bowed her head again, tears drizzling down her face. "But I was wrong to steal your lamb shank. Here." She extended the piece of meat to me. "You can have it back."

I was about to take it and briskly walk away, when my conscience intervened. Reluctantly, I let out a deep sigh. "No," I said. "Keep it. You need it more than I do."

Her face lit up as she looked at me again. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Well, as the staff officer of this army, it's my job to make sure every one of our troops is in good health. And if that means you constantly need food, then so be it." I said. Then I turned on my heel to walk away.

"Wait! Soren!" she called after me. I stopped and turned to face her. "What are you going to eat?"

"I'll just go back through the line and get another one," I told her, though I dreaded facing Oscar again. "I assure you, it's no trouble at all."

There was a bit of an awkward pause, so I assumed it was alright to leave. Her persistent voice stopped me in my tracks once again, however.

"Soren," she said in a very soft tone. "Thank you."

I turned once more and acknowledged her with a curt nod, then headed back to the mess tent. There was no longer a line to get food, but Oscar was still standing up by his supply. He saw me approaching, and once again got that stupid expression on his face.

"Ah, Soren. Back for more?" He chuckled light-heartedly. "I always knew these were your favorite."

I didn't tell him what happened. Instead, I generously accepted the second lamb shank he offered to me. "Yes, you were definitely right about that." I figured I would humor him, for a change. "Thank you, Oscar," I said, then took my seat beside Ike once more.

"You found your lamb shank?" he asked upon seeing me walking towards him.

"Well actually, I-" I stopped myself before I went any further. Come to think of it, he really didn't need to know what happened, either. There were some things in this world that you told people, and other things that you didn't. I figured my little exchange with Ilyana was something to keep to myself. I didn't think she'd be telling anyone about the incident, either. "Yes, I found it," I said, a smug grin on my face. And so, I happily bit into that lamb shank, feeling almost at peace for the good deed that I had done. Ilyana would not go hungry tonight. Well, for an hour or two, at least...

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**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed that! Don't forget to favorite and review! :D**


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